Ten Reasons The Ice King Shouldn't Live With You
by Red Witch
Summary: Oh the many ways the Ice King annoys Finn and Jake while staying at the Tree House...


**The Ice King broke the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Adventure Time characters. Loved Play Date. Poor Finn lost his sword. Oh yeah and Jake got kidnapped (But we all know he'll be fine.) That episode and the following only proves…**

**Ten Reasons The Ice King Shouldn't Live With You**

**Number One: He hogs the bathroom. **

"Ice King! Ice King!" Jake pounded on the bathroom door. "Come on man! I need to brush my teeth! I know you're in there! You'd better not be having another milk bath again man! Ice King!"

"What's wrong Jake?" Finn walked up to him.

"The Ice King is hogging the bathroom **again**! Finn we gotta get rid of him!" Jake protested.

"Jake do we have to go through this **every day**?" Finn groaned.

"As long as the Ice King's living here, yes!" Jake barked. "Why should I suffer because of what you did?"

"It was your idea to make the Ice King and Flame Princess fight Jake," Finn gave him a look. "You're just as responsible as I am for the Ice Kingdom being wrecked."

"No, I'm not!" Jake barked. "I'm not **this** responsible!" He pounded on the door again. "Come on! Stop hogging the bathroom!"

"Yeah!" Ice King walked up wearing a bathrobe. "Quit being such a bathroom hog! Some of us need to take a bath you know? Don't have all day to stand around being dirty!"

Finn and Jake did a double take and looked at the Ice King. "What?" Ice King blinked.

"Wait if you're out **here**…" Finn blinked. "Who's in…?"

"BMO are you acting weird again talking to yourself in the mirror?" Jake called out.

"No Jake. I am right here," BMO came up to them.

"Well then who…?" Jake asked. Just then the toilet flushed and the bathroom door opened.

"Wenk…" Gunter waddled out the door.

"Gunter? Since when are you potty trained?" Ice King asked.

"He isn't…" Jake winced as he looked inside. "Oh boy..."

"You better not have used up all the hot water, Gunter!" Ice King yelled.

"Wenk!"

"I can't take much more of this," Jake moaned. "Well at least I can brush my teeth."

"Wenk…" Gunter handed Jake a toothbrush.

"Of course," Jake sighed. "Gunter used my toothbrush. I don't even **want** to know where this has been!"

**Number Two: Penguins.**

Jake was sure he was being watched.

He opened his eyes from his drawer bed and sure enough two penguins were staring at him. "Wenk."

"Ice King!" Jake barked as he got up. "What are these penguins doing here?"

"What? Gunter and his friends can't come visit?" Ice King blinked. He and some penguins were playing video games on BMO.

Jake grumbled and went into the bathroom. "Maybe a nice bath will help me relax?"

He got into the bathtub only to find it was already occupied. "Wenk?" One of three penguins quacked.

"ICE KING!" Jake yelled.

**Number Three: He throws parties in your house. **

"Another day! Another dungeon!" Jake said happily as Finn and Jake returned home.

"Eh it was an okay dungeon," Finn shrugged. "Still not as good as the dungeon train."

"We're not gonna go over that again are we?" Jake groaned. "Hey what's that noise?"

"Huh?" Finn blinked as the sounds of music and laughter were heard from inside the tree house. "What's going on?"

They went inside and saw a weird sight. Several princesses were dancing around to loud music, talking and eating snacks. BMO was dancing while playing music on a table. Marceline was floating around the ceiling. The Ice King was in an ice cage playing drums happily while several penguins danced around.

"Hey Finn! How's it going?" Ice King waved.

"Ice King! I can't believe this!" Finn shouted. "Seriously man! You're kidnapping princesses and locking them in our…Wait a minute. How come you're on the **other** side of the ice bars?"

"Oh Marceline explained it to me," Ice King nodded enthusiastically. "It's Reverse Capturing Princess Day!"

"What the Who Day?" Jake raised an eyebrow.

"I was just flying by to check on the Ice King and I overheard the Ice King grumbling about catching princesses," Marceline said. "You know you really shouldn't leave him alone by himself in your house."

"Obviously," Jake groaned.

"Well I told him that today was Reverse Capturing Princesses Day where the princess capture you and have a party," Marceline said.

"Yeah then Marceline like told us there was gonna be like an awesome party at your place and we were like all over it," Lumpy Space Princess nodded.

"Reverse capturing…" Finn blinked. "So the Ice King is in the cage instead of the princesses."

"That's where the reverse capturing comes in duh!" Ice King snorted. "Boy what a dummy!"

"Yeaaaaaaaaaaah," Jake said slowly. "We're the **dumb ones."**

"Yeah but you shouldn't have just let everyone have a party at our house without asking us first," Finn told Marceline.

"Technically this is still my house. I'm just letting you live in it," Marceline waved. "So it's cool by me."

"You can still rescue us guys," LSP spoke up. "Just like after the party."

"Oh that reminds me," Slime Princess spoke up. "Finn we're kind of running out of soda. Could you be a dear and get some more?"

"Yeah and while you're at it could you please get some more napkins and paper cups?" Wildberry Princess asked.

"I could go for some ranch potato chips," Elbow Princess spoke up.

"Ooh! And those cheese flavored pretzels!" Muscle Princess spoke up.

"So if you guys don't mind you can go get some stuff!" Ice King grinned.

"But…" Finn began.

"Thanks Finn! We knew you wouldn't let us down," Marceline smiled an evil smile. "Oh and get some more red stuff too while you're at it."

"And nachos!" LSP called out as the boys left. "Don't forget the nachos!"

"Ever get the feeling the princesses around here are starting to take us for granted?" Jake grumbled as they went on their errand.

"I'm getting the feeling the Ice King is a lot smarter than we think he is," Finn groaned.

"He's smart enough to mooch off of us!" Jake grumbled.

**Number 4: He Eats All Your Food.**

"Hey has anyone seen my sandwich?" Jake looked through the refrigerator. Then he heard the sound of smacking.

"Aw man! Not again!" Jake stormed over to find the Ice King eating his sandwich behind his couch. "ICE KING!"

"What?" Ice King blinked innocently. "Hey Jake there was this really good sandwich in the fridge! Want some?" He held up the half-eaten sandwich.

"It's all yours…" Jake moaned. "FINN!"

**Number 5: He sheds. A lot. **

"Uhgh…" Finn groaned as he looked down the bathtub drain.

"Drain's clogged up **again?" **Jake walked up to him.

"Yup," Finn sighed as he put on a rubber glove.

"That's the third time this week!" Jake groaned.

"Ugh…" Finn pulled out a huge hunk of dripping white hair from the drain.

"How could one balding old man shed so much hair?" Jake recoiled in disgust.

"Well his beard is pretty bushy man," Finn winced at the mess.

"Actually Finn that's not beard hair," Ice King popped his head in. "That's back hair. Kind of did some grooming last night. Sorry, my bad."

"EWWWWWW!" Both Finn and Jake winced in horror. Finn threw the hair into a trash can.

"I'm gonna be sick…" Jake went over to the toilet. "THERE'S HAIR IN HERE TOO!"

"Yeah some of that **is **beard hair," Ice King shrugged. "Don't ask where the rest came from."

Jake made a wailing sound and ran out the door. Sounds of retching could be heard outside. "OH MY GLOB THERE'S EVEN HAIR IN THE BUSHES! IT'S EVERYWHERE!"

Finn looked at Ice King. "What? I tried to move some of my hair outside! It's kind of a funny story actually…"

"I don't want to hear it," Finn groaned. "It's bad enough my drains are clogged up with hair I don't want to clog up my brain with hair stories!"

"SO…MUCH…HAIR! AAAAHHHHH!" Jake was heard screaming.

"Oh grow up!" Ice King snapped as he stuck his head out the window. "It's not like it's my toe jam or anything! I put that in the refrigerator!"

"IS **THAT** WHAT THAT BLUE AND GREEN STUFF WAS I PUT ON MY SANDWICH?" Jake was heard yelled. "AAAAAHHH!"

"I don't know how he could have mistaken that. I clearly put on the label Ice King's Jam. Oh wait…" Ice King blinked.

"And there goes my appetite for the rest of the week," Finn groaned.

**Number 6: Body Odor. **

"Well of course he's going to smell Jake," Finn told his brother. "He's a weird old guy who hangs around penguins all day."

"Yeah but even accounting for his weird milk bath habit he smells worse than usual," Jake groaned. "You're lucky you're not a dog bro. You don't smell what I smell. For some reason the Ice King smells like the Fish Apocalypse!"

FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT

They wrinkled up their noses at the smell and the sound of a fart. They looked on the couch and saw Gunter. "Oh…" Jake winced. "**That's** why."

**Number 7: He likes to cuddle. See Number 6. **

"Hi ya bros!" Ice King jumped on the couch and put both his arms around Finn and Jake.

"No touching! No touching!" Jake moaned. "Man you smell worse than usual! Gunter visited again didn't he?"

"How did you know?" Ice King asked.

"Lucky guess…" Jake groaned as the Ice King hugged him. "Great my fur is gonna stink for weeks!"

"It's gonna stink with friendship! Friendship!" Ice King cackled as he hugged them. Then he started singing. _"It's friendship! Friendship! Just the perfect blend-ship! When other friendships are up the creek…" _

"We are going to reek…" Jake winced from the smell.

**Number 8: He needs attention. Lots of attention. **

"Fiiiinnn! Jaaaaaakke! Fiiiiiinn! Jaaaaaake! Come on guys! Where are you?"

"Don't say **anything**…" Jake whispered. He and Finn were hiding behind the couch.

"I found you! I found you! I found you!" Ice King cheered and clapped as he found them. "Are we playing a game? Did I win?"

"Yeah and we **lost**," Jake moaned.

"You did win the game," Finn got an idea. "The game of Hide and Seek! And now it's our turn to find you!"

"Oh goody! Goody! Goody!" Ice King jumped up and down and clapped his hands.

"Now Ice King you go and hide…" Finn said. He turned around with Jake. "And we'll find you. One…Two…"

"Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" The Ice King looked around panicking before he got an idea.

"Ready or not here we come," Finn and Jake turned around. They saw the Ice King standing there with a tablecloth on his head, covering his face.

"Gee where could the Ice King have gone?" Jake said in an intentionally loud voice and pretended to look around. "I wonder where he is."

"No doubt about it, the Ice King is a master at the game of hide and seek," Finn said as he and Jake walked by the Ice King.

They tried to ignore the giggles the Ice King made. "I have no idea where he is," Finn announced loudly.

"Maybe he went **outside**?" Jake suggested loudly. "Let's go and look."

"Yes, it could take **hours **before we find him," Finn agreed as they went outside.

As soon as Finn closed the door behind them he told Jake. "Run!" Which they did.

"We should have thought of this weeks ago," Jake remarked.

**Number 9: He tends to break things**.

"Aw man…" Finn groaned as he looked at a broken old sword. "Simon's been playing around with my stuff again."

"Hey at least this time he only broke an old sword you don't use anymore," Jake pointed out. "And not another table."

"I know but it's the principle of the thing," Finn shrugged as he threw the broken sword in the trash.

"This wouldn't happen if you just kicked the Ice King out," Jake pointed out for the hundredth time.

"Jake you know it's my fault the Ice King lost his crib," Finn said. "I have to make it up to him."

"I dunno man," Jake shook his head. "Karma is a funny thing. If you think you're doing something to make up for what you did, it usually turns out it's not enough. And then something else happens you're not expecting."

"Oh come on Jake! I'm responsible for the destruction of the Ice Kingdom so I'm letting the Ice King stay here until the Ice Kingdom is rebuilt," Finn gave him a look. "How could that not balance my karma?"

"I dunno man," Jake frowned. "I got a feeling the Ice King is gonna be responsible for destroying something you really like and then do worse to you than what you did to him. And odds are it's gonna affect me too! Just a feeling I got."

"Jake. The Ice King has been living with us for over a month."

"Point taken," Jake agreed. "Where is the crazy old nut anyway?"

"AAAAAAHHH!" Screams could be heard from outside.

"You just had to ask didn't you?" Finn groaned.

"Maybe if we just ignore him…?" Jake began.

Just then a plant stalk crashed through the window. "Something tells me that's not an option this time!" Finn groaned as he grabbed his favorite sword and ran outside with Jake.

"WHOAAA! WHOAAA!" Ice King yelled as he was being shaken by a giant Venus flytrap plant with huge fangs. His crown had fallen off so he couldn't use his powers. "This is déjà vu all over again!"

"What did you do now you crazy old lunatic?" Jake barked.

"Let me guess…You went to Wizard City didn't you?" Finn groaned.

"I just wanted some supplies!" Ice King yelled. "I swear they don't label half the stuff you buy properly!"

"I'm not even gonna ask! Let's just kill this thing before it trashes even more of our house," Finn grumbled as he went on hacking the killer plant.

"Why is it whenever the Ice King breaks stuff **we're** the ones who have to clean up his mess?" Jake groaned.

**Number 10: He's just plain crazy. **

"Finn? Finn? Finn? Are you awake?"

"I am now…" Finn groaned as he opened his eyes. "Ice King it's late at night. I'm trying to sleep."

"I know but…I just wanted to talk," Ice King fiddled his fingers. "You know? Hang out and rap? Get down with my homies?"

"Uhhhh…" Finn groaned, partly of sleep deprivation.

"This is kind of fun us sharing the tree house," Ice King sat on the bed. "Kind of like one big sleepover that never ends!"

"I know I'm having a nightmare right now that's not ending!" Jake called out. "Ice King! Go to sleep!"

"Come on Finn! We can have a real sleep over! Talk about princesses! Get our hair and nails done! I even made us puppets out of paper bags and my beard hair!" Ice King showed them.

"Ice King when **exactly** is your kingdom scheduled to be finished anyway?" Finn groaned. "Is there like a timetable or a chart we can see?"

"Can't be rebuilt soon enough for me," Jake groaned.


End file.
